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90 Day Fiance has exploded from a documentary-esque reality show, showcasing the K-1 visa process as experienced by a variety of couples, to a reality show empire with six spin-offs. Most couples in the 90 day fiance sphere meet one of three ways: online, through a dating app or Facebook; while the American partner is on vacation, often at a bar or club; or during the American partner’s Mormon mission trip. Regardless of the method, they all share the desire to get married fast.

Considering that, as of 2018, the average engagement length is a little over 13 months and…

It’s time we finally be honest with ourselves. The Jedi Exile is a Black woman.

This is going to be spoiler heavy but honestly the game is going to be old enough to drive in December, there’s been time.

The Jedi Exile is the main character of Knights of the Old Republic 2 (KotOR 2), a game released in 2004. In one of the strongest narratives in the Star Wars Universe, players assume the role of an exile and veteran of the Mandalorian Wars, who in later media is named Meetra Surik.

As a note, KotOR 2 is an incomplete…

My therapist in college introduced me to the idea of “evergreen and seasonal friendships.” Essentially, the difference is a friendship that is long-lasting in comparison to a friendship that, although no less valuable, only serves you for a specific period of time. Once that season has passed, so has that friendship. It’s a really digestible way of accepting how connections can change so drastically throughout our lives.

I hated this idea. Aside from not liking change, I was horrified at the potential truth that all of my major friendships at the time were seasonal. …

This November marks the start of the eleventh year that I have been wearing my hair natural. A little over a decade ago I sat on my bedroom floor and, having grown out a perm for a few months to prepare, chopped off 85% of my hair.

In 2008, “natural hair journeys” were just beginning to be a thing. The bulk of my information came from Long Hair Care Forum and Curly Nikki. Before the popularity of Eco Style, everyone was using Kinky Curly Curling Custard in the never-ending pursuit for a defined wash n’ go. …

Image reads: My Peanut Shaped Figure: Inconvenient. The life and times of a bottom heavy ugly duckling.

“You are a dog!”

Not the message I was expecting from my friend the morning after a long, alcohol soaked night, but one I cackled at all the same. Achievement unlocked, I guess?

See what had happened was, the night before I ended up cupcaking with a girl I had just met while sitting across the table from a guy said friend had been trying for months to set me up with. I was too thrilled that my plaid shirt had finally radiated enough queer energy to pull in a girl to be classy in that moment.

So yeah, when…

Image reads: My Peanut Shaped Figure: Unbelievable. The life and times of a bottom heavy ugly duckling.

I’m very trusting (a few steps above gullible) and believe people are saying what they mean until proven otherwise. But when it comes to others’ opinions about me, I don’t believe a comment could be true unless it’s harmful. I’ve begun to accept compliments about my work but I still distrust any other kind words directed towards me.

While this manifests in multiple aspects of my life, this summer has illuminated the impact of my low self-opinion on my romantic prospects. People, miraculously, think I’m cute now. Which is a lateral shift from being sexualized that my brain can’t make.

I’m not sure when I first officially learned what being gay was (though something tells me it was probably through chat rooms) but by 8th grade, I was grabbing every LGBT themed book I could find. Rainbow Boys, Boy Meets Boy, Ash, which I must have read six times once I found it because finally a book with girls. The more I read, the more I needed to be connected to this community that I swore I was just an ally to.

Through the media I consumed, I rarely saw queer girls and, if I did, they definitely were never…

Pretty early into our friendship, one of my friends revealed to me that our mutual, straight male friend had asked if they thought there were any “vibes” between him and I. They had answered a strong “no” on my behalf. After laughing at their recap, I started wondering why the mutual friend would’ve felt that way in the first place. I was acting with him the way I would any of my friends but that was leaving a space for questions.

I’m not immediately affectionate. I love being affectionate but it takes time for me to get comfortable so I…

Image reads: My Peanut Shaped Figure: Small Victories. The life and times of a bottom heavy ugly duckling.

I wrote recently about my difficulty navigating perceptions based off my body and I’m happy to report that, after another strange and much longer night than I was expecting, my “this person is just thirsty” radar has gotten even stronger. Here’s to small victories.

One of the many things I’m reflecting on is that I need people to do a little more than to just be physically attracted to me — and that I have been this way for a while, though the introduction of alcohol into my social experiences has clouded that requisite. My first boyfriend defended what he…

Image reads: My Peanut Shaped Figure: Desirable but Make it Awkward. The life and times of a bottom heavy ugly duckling.

So I have a fat ass. This is nothing new. Neither is my talking about it. I wrote a spoken piece about it, the reputation of which followed me for my entire college career, much like my ass itself. Despite tipping over desks and struggling to find pants that fit (though thankfully high-rise jeans are in-style so goodbye forever plumbers’ crack), there are some benefits: just like girls with long hair that can’t dance, having a fat ass can elevate your lackluster moves simply be being visually appealing. I should point out most benefits involve others perception or potential use…


I am an expert on over-thinking & lukewarm takes.

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